The Reason I Continue the Journey of Getting Pregnant...

It's all over with for this cycle. No more drug injections at least until my next cyle. Gerry and I got the news yesterday that our I.V.F. cycle was cancelled due to my body not responding to the drugs. I thank ALL of you for your love, concern and support. I couldn't have gotten this far without the love of all my beautiful friends and family.
THERE IS GOOD NEWS: We are still going to be able to do I.U.I.!!!!!!!!! So, I am committed to the possibility of twins! There are two eggs that are available and if is meant to be, we will have good news before Christmas! So, let's all keep the energy positive and perhaps we will produce results!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is my BEAUTIFUL niece I like to show off, Miss Gabby!!!!! When I look at her, it reminds me of why I am committed to having a child(ren) of my own. Every night I injected myself with all the "hormonal concoctions", I thought of her BIG, brown eyes and her sweet little voice. She is a true love and I could eat her cheeks with a spoon!!!!!!!!!!!!

ACKNOWLEDGING WHAT I GOT:

• What I got out of my experience this month is KNOWING that I could do it!!!! I could mix drugs, inject myself every night, take pills and be disciplined in taking my drugs on time....even if it meant bringing them to dinner!!! :-)
• I got that my husband loves me for everything that I am and everything that I am not (again!)....especially when jacked up on drugs and freaking out and being upset and NOT pleasant to be around, let alone, live with. It was a true test of our marriage and relationship. THANK YOU HONEY!
• I also got that there are a lot of people committed to us being parents:
• My mom who listened to me cry in the middle of the day & gave up what she was doing to listen to me "blat" about nothing....because I could never really come up with a good "reason" to be sobbing. She would love NOTHING more than to be here helping Gerry & I with the grand-baby. She even has given me the baby's quilt. I just need a baby to wrap up in it!
• My father-in-law who always throws positive energy in my space when really I wanted to be "right" about my "woes". I use to call Gg and cry on her shoulder....now he's got the big job of calming me! :-) Thanks dad!
• Laura-Jean (infertility nurse) is AMAZING! She has this ENORMOUS amount of energy and a heart as big as the world. She even met me on SATURDAY to pick up more drugs (on her day off), to help me! She even listened to my upsets throughout the last two months and still remained committed! LOVE YA SWEETIE!
• Sarah Woods (Acupuncture & Herbs) who was willing to learn acupuncture for infertility to help Gerry and I. She was a little nervous and hesitant at first but I told her that I trusted her and had nothing in my space about what she could do/not do for me and anything she was committed to was perfect in my world.
• My friends at the gym who kept me on track (I tend to talk more than I "walk") getting the weight off for this first treatment. Also for the ego boosts that they give me with all their compliments! You guys are the best!!!
• I got that everyone at work loves me! Those who saw me sob for no good reason and gave me the space to let it all out. For the flexibility of my MANY appointments, leaving the front desk short handed. Mikki & Justine, who listened to me for countless hours and never once, judging me.
• I got that my friend Justine loves me and was part of many of my debacles....securing drugs, being my "therapist" and just letting me be me & creating a LOT of FUN that kept my mind off of the seriousness behind this "art" of getting pregnant! THANKS WOMAN!
• My friends Leslie, who had tried for FIVE years to get pregnant, and DID! She was there for me every step of the way and with unconditional love. She calms me in the stormiest of times and knows EXACTLY what I'm going through. I LOVE YOU!!!!
• My friend Melissa, the hours spent coaching me and listening to me go "south" many a nights! It takes a strong woman to handle another strong woman like me! I am very thankful that you are "in my space" and part of my life. Thanks for all your love, coaching and friendship!
• My friend, Jaime....thank you for sharing your life and giving me the opportunity to be a part of your pregnancy....sharing and caring! Thanks sweetie!
• Anyone and everyone....I love you all! Gerry and I will get there and there is no other love than that generated from the heart and soul from our friends and family! Please know that it is that love that has gotten us through all of this! Thank you, thank you, thank you!