A Dream Come True!!!

For THREE YEARS I have been "trying" to get my mother to do the Landmark Forum! So, two weeks ago, she called me all upset about my grandmother and the fact that my grandmother wanted her dinning room table back that she had given my younger sister. My mother told me her story about inviting my grandmother over for coffee and that in the middle of the conversation my grandmother told my mother that she wanted her dinning room table back so that she could have a place to put her puzzle together. My mother explained that she didn't CARE that my grandmother wanted her dinning room table back...that she gifted to my younger sister. What got her all upset was that she knew my younger sister had put hot potatoes on a paper plate that took the finish off my grandmothers Ethan Allen dinning room table. So somewhere in the conversation, my mother was saying that now my Aunt was upset, that gram was mad and she didn't have anything to do with it. I started laughing.
Mom said, "What's so funny"?
ME: "It's funny to listen to you tell this story because it's the same one over and over again, only different circumstances".
MOM: "Well I don't think it's funny. All I did was invite your grandmother over for coffee and all of a sudden, I'm the bag".

Two hours later and a lot of coaching (for free...he, he, he), I said to my mother, "You know, anything you want for yourself and your life you can get out of your participation in the Landmark Forum".
MOM: "Oh hunny, why bother when I can just get it from you".
ME: "Well, here it is (keep in mind she's a very talented quilter), You can admire someone's quilting, you can read about quilting or you can quilt. There is nothing wrong with any three of those things EXCEPT your experience of it. So, yes, you can call and get what you get out my sharing but it's not going to be the same as if you did it yourself. Getting it from me is like admiring someone's quilting".

My mother responded, "That's it, I'm going to do it"! In complete shock, I said, "What was it that I said this time that was different from any other THOUSANDS of times that I have asked"? She said it was all about the "quilting example".

THE FIRST DAY:
Yesterday morning when I went to the center to show her where to go, I became so emotional. I cried and cried and cried. We hugged and I continued to cry. It really hit me at that moment that I was being given the best gift in all my life....that my mother was choosing to make a difference in her life. I left her there, driving down the road crying, knowing that she was going to come out transforming her life and the lives of others around her.

So, she called me on one of her breaks saying that she wasn't getting something about "inauthentic" and "authentic" ways of being. I explained what is was for me. I got a little nervous thinking, "Oh, I hope she doesn't change her mind about doing this". Last night at 10:30 when I went to pick her up, she was elated! She said, "This is what I have got, I know that your father and I chose to build your grandmother's house next to ours so that she will be safe and that we are next to her in case of an emergency. I have also been running a racket that I am responsible for her happiness. What I know is that I'm not. When she complains about the house and how small it is and that she hates living there, I know that is her stuff, and I'm not taking it on. I am creating the possibility of peace and harmony in my life and a relationship with my mother where I am left with no guilt". I got all teary. I am finally starting to see transformation in my mother....only after ONE DAY! She went from complaining, whining, feeling sorry for herself to taking control of her life. I cannot wait to see the ripple effect of her way of being and the impact that it has on the family.

On another note, I have been able to spend most of my weekend here doing a little exploring and shopping. I had one coaching call on Friday and have been a free bird ever since. Most of you that know me will NOT be surprised when I tell you I made a friend at TJ Maxx last night. I was in the fitting room reading a text message when I heard this voice say, "I could really use your help. I've been looking at this sweater on me for ten minutes trying to decide what size looks best. Do you mind helping me"? I was all over it. After chatting with her, she told me that she always goes shopping with her mother and now that her mother lives in CT, it doesn't happen that way often. She said that she loved it because her mom is a fashion guru. She then proceeded to tell me that her mother retired from ELLE Magazine! I was floored! AND, her father lives in MAINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He lives 1/2 hour from me! I gave her my business card and invited her to call or email me. Tamara was a woman right up my alley! :-) She also helped me with a question on a business bag that I was having trouble deciding on! FUNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!